Flashing Blue Light
by Grasspaw
Summary: Slight crack, set in late season 1: 'Now, the Doctor was very fond of one Rose Tyler. Very fond. He might even go so far as to say he loved her (or that he was maybe in love with her) - although never out loud. So he was understandably upset when one Captain Jack Harkness walked into the TARDIS and announced, "Oh yeah, I got Rose pregnant."'


**Hello, hello, Doctor Who fandom! Tis I, Grasspaw. I haven't posted anything Doctor Who related in, eh... pfft, I don't know, but I found this in my fanfiction folder and started giggling and figured I'd clean it up and post it. Also, I feel I should mention that I got a tumblr a while back, and you can find me on there under no-g00d-usernames-left. I mainly post random quotes from people, reblog things that make me giggle, and ramble incoherently about life. I also may post a few random drabbles that won't make it onto my account here, I dunno. Anyhow, I own nothing and please enjoy the story.**

Now, the Doctor was very fond of one Rose Tyler. _Very_ fond. He might even go so far as to say he loved her (or that he was maybe _in_ love with her) - although never out loud. So he was understandably upset when one Captain Jack Harkness walked into the TARDIS and announced, "Oh yeah, I got Rose pregnant."

The Doctor stood up slowly from where he had been fiddling with the translation matrix, very slowly turned to face Jack, and very slowly said, "What."

"I got Rose pregnant," Jack repeated. The Doctor suddenly experienced something called 'rage.' It's also known as 'fury,' or, sometimes, 'certain death for everyone involved.'

"You did _what?_"

"I got Rose pregnant," Jack repeated, rolling his eyes. He did not seem to realize (or care) that the Doctor was silently debating the pros and cons of killing him quickly versus dragging it out.

"Why would you do that?" the Doctor snarled, forcing himself to stand still.

Jack shrugged. "Well, she asked me to."

"Why would she do that?"

"I dunno. I guess she likes-"

"Ooh, Jack, you're back!" Rose said suddenly, entering the console room. "Did you get me-"

"Pregnant? Yeah."

The Doctor saw red. Rose grinned, completely unaware.

"Thanks. My stomach hurts so bad right now." Jack poked said stomach, and Rose giggled.

"Oi!" the Doctor cried, and they both turned to look at him. "Poking her won't exactly _help_, Harkness!"

"Why am I Harkness all of a sudden?"

"Because of what you did!" the Doctor snapped, crossing his arms and glaring. Rose looked at Jack in confusion.

"What did he do, then?"

"He got you..." He couldn't make himself say the word, so he just gestured vaguely at them.

"Well, yeah. I did ask. The TARDIS doesn't have any."

"_Of course the TARDIS doesn't have any!_"

"Why is this such a big deal?" Rose asked, face puzzled. "I like 'em."

"'Them?'" the Doctor repeated incredulously. "You mean there's _more than one?_"

Rose laughed. "They're small, Doctor. I can fit quite a few in my stomach." She frowned. "But we can get rid of them if you-"

"No!" he gasped, horrified. "Rose, I'd never _think _of letting you- asking you to- just because I don't like them..."

"I thought you did like them," Jack said, cocking his head to the side in confusion.

"Not when they're _Rose's_!"

Rose shrugged. "Fine then. I'm okay with sharing. Jack, you mind?"

"Nah, I don't really want them. You can give mine to the Doctor."

At that moment, Jack's I-am-about-to-die senses started tingling and he dived to the side as the Doctor leaped forward, hands outstretched as though to strangle Jack. Rose caught his sleeve and pulled him back, while the 51st century man cowered behind Rose.

"Doctor! What was that about?"

"Take responsibility for your actions, Jack!" the Doctor thundered, making the two humans wince. "How can you even think of just giving them away like that?"

"I don't want them," Jack said in a small voice. "Rose doesn't care, does she?"

"No, I don't... Doctor, the console's flashing."

The Doctor whipped around to glare at the flashing blue circle of light, only about the size of his thumb, then turned back to point threateningly at Jack, still crouching behind Rose with one hand around her knee for balance.

"We are not through with this conversation."

Then he stalked back over to the console, crawled underneath the grating... and froze.

The Doctor very slowly stood up, very slowly turned to face Jack, and very slowly said, "What did you get Rose."

Jack hesitantly fished a small bag of pretzels out of his pocket. The Doctor stared. He glanced once more at the malfunctioning translation matrix. Then, with a brisk nod, he turned and left the console room.


End file.
